


Monk Comes Down The Mountain

by charbax



Category: Paladins: Champions Of The Realm (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, a smidge of shipping at the end, also despite the meme-y summary this is actually a serious-ish fic, alternative universe, featuring:, headcanon heavy, i just like memeing, late night therapy session, me; taking the lore and running with it: if u cant get lore, metaphors kinda, store bought is fine, talking heads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 01:37:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13730367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charbax/pseuds/charbax
Summary: Naïve Monk Goes Into The Real World And Returns An Outcast, What Happens Next Will Astound You





	Monk Comes Down The Mountain

**Author's Note:**

> a frand requested buck/jenos and....it took me 1000 words, a goshdarn metaphor, and some talking heads to reach there. unbelievable.
> 
> also!! the title was inspired by the film of the same name, which was actually terrible and i hated it, but i liked the beginning of it so i’m using as part of my headcanon about Buck’s wildly varied backstory: the monastery was running out of room so they held a fighting contest to see who would stay. Buck won, but it wasn’t a contest where the winner would, it was a contest where the winner was to leave, thus was kicked out. he was employed by underworld thugs, then the magistrate, before leaving to come back home afterwards. 
> 
> also i’m taking cues from buddhism and headcanoning that buck’s monk order looked up to jenos as a figure of teaching about how to become ascended like him. ok i’m done.
> 
> EDIT: *bangs open door* AND ANOTHER THING: the new lore released and basically slam dunked this fic into a definite AU bin. So now consider this an au. That is all.

It was quiet. Normally, this was something that Jenos treasured, with his introverted nature and general preference, but when the silence came from Buck, the ‘Loud Noises’ Unyielding, it became less comforting and more concerning.

“What ails you Buck?”

Buck broke out of his uncharacteristic reverie with a start. “Huh?”

“I asked if there was something on your mind.” Jenos said, elegantly stepping over the uneven rocky ground.

“Sorta? But it’s stupid.”

“I would like to hear it regardless.”

Even in the dark, Jenos was sure he could make out Buck’s ears burning bright red. “I mean, if you wanna, but if you don’t want to listen you don’t have to. Anyway, when we having our lunch today I and I heard one of my brothers say ‘Brace yourselves, it’s the sell-out’ and I, uh, ended up eating in the courtyard because it was nice weather outside and I thought hey, why not eat outside?”

Jenos frowned. He had grown beyond mortal needs such as food or sleep (although he could indulge in either, if he chose to), preferring to meditate during those times. That was most likely why he had not heard about this happening to Buck.

“Yeah. I mean, it was nice. There were trees and sunlight and stuff. But I got the feeling that my brothers and sisters don’t really…want to hang around me. Like, they don’t feel proud of the fact that their guy who beat them in a contest came back a crook and a soldier. I went out into the realm to witness its goodness and find enlightment and all I saw was fighting and bloodshed and _darkness_ and all I could think was ‘how was I going to find enlightment in this?’ and I know that sorta thinking goes against our teachings, but I...I still think that way sometimes. If I’m not careful. Or cheerful enough.

“Sometimes,” Buck continued, quieter now. “Sometimes I can’t help but think I should’ve stayed here, on this mountain, instead of trying to find something out there. Sometimes I wish I never left.”

Jenos remained quiet, letting Buck stew a while, and when they reached a rocky outcrop looking over the valley, he turned around, and under the starlight, took in Buck’s hunched shoulders and averted gaze. Then, he said, “What do you see Buck?”

Buck took a look around. “Uh. Nature…dirt…stars?”

“Take a look behind us.”

Buck did as he was told, and saw the path the path they had been walking on, and further on, the monastery nestled in the mountain. “Wow, we didn’t travel that far.” He said a tad thoughtlessly.

Jenos chuckled anyway. “It is not just that. When I was much younger, many centuries ago, I had – perhaps foolishly, in the way of youths – taken a fall and broken my leg. The details of how aren’t important.”Jenos added quickly. Buck put ‘Ask about Jenos’ broken leg’ on his to-ask list.

Jenos spoke on. “I was confined to bed rest. While that would have been the opportune time for self-reflection, my mind remained unsettled, like wandering animal, unable to achieve the calm that would normally come easily to me. I passed the time with books and writing, until my leg was healed, but the disquiet was still with me. I was convinced that I must find a quiet spot to meditate on my actions.

“Now, it was at this point when I could only walk for short distances, but not for the long trek needed for navigating these mountainous paths. I packed a day’s worth of food and water and attempted to walk beyond my abode, but I could only manage few steps from my front door before the pain was too much, and so, I retreated with a heavy heart.

“But the next day, I packed a day’s worth of food and water, and tried again. I could not make it to where my gravel stone path met the mountainous road, and again, I retreated. But as I was walking back to my home, all I could think of was how far I travelled. And the day after, I tried again, and again, and again, with each day managing to go one step further than I had previously.

“After weeks of trekking and retreating, I painstakingly made my way to this outlook. I was exhausted by the ordeal, and yes, it wasn’t far as you have said. But what mattered was that, with the circumstances, I managed to archive more that day than I did yesterday, and achieved more yesterday than I did the day before, and so on. Tonight, it only takes you and I minutes where it had taken me hours before.”

“Ah.” Buck said.

“I looked back on my path, and did not see how short my path was, but much more I have travelled from the last day. And only I was all alone then, and I alone could judge it. Is that making some sense Buck?”

Buck thought about his teachings with the other monks, his learning in the underworld, his training in the magistrate, and the journey it took to return to his home.

“I’m-I’m not gonna lie. I saw bad stuff. _Really_ bad stuff. I did some of that bad stuff too because I didn’t know better then. And when I came back home, everyone else was so disappointed about how I turned out. They didn’t say anything out loud, but I could see it in their faces. That I didn’t find myself out there. And maybe that’s ok. I saw darkness out there, but I didn’t know it was there until I came down the mountain. Maybe now, I could do something about it.”

Buck gazed out into the sky, where the cosmos slowly spun, murmuring as if the stars could answer back to him. “I think I should try again. I’m gonna go back there.”

Jenos moved next next Buck, floating so that they were eye-level. “And you will not be alone this time. I shall accompany you.”

“…thanks.”

“It’s no problem.”

Jenos felt lips pressed to his cheek, just beneath the cold metal of his mask. Buck drew away quickly. “Really, uh, thanks, I- going. I’m going. Y’know, early morning tomorrow with the whole leaving the monastery the second time, OKI’LLSEEYOULATERBYE!”

In true Buck fashion, he speed-walked back to the monastery, almost tripping over the path in his haste. Jenos placed his hand on the spot where Buck kissed him, then sat down and started meditating.


End file.
